where is this sun you speak of?

  Dear FutureMe, Today, we a had a little to no sun. It's cold, I think it is under 0 degree celsius. The last time I checked, which was three hours ago, was that it was negative 3 degrees celsius. I am getting used to the cold now, I guess - I hope! I do miss the humid and hot Dubai or Davao weather. Soon, I will be visiting Dubai in a week so that's good.  Yanyan is a bit sick. His throat is itchy so I made him a cup of hot ginger with honey tea. He does not like it much. He is sitting next to me and just read the last sentence and read it out loud, "I don't like it much" with more attitude. What a drama king he is! How are you doing? I think this letter will be sent a year from now. I wonder where you are now. Are you in France? I wonder where you and Yanyan celebrated holidays? Philippines - if so, how was it? I hope it was lovely with the whole family! This morning, you read a note you have written eight years ago in 2016. You wrote that you are brave enough ...

"It's been a while" is probably something I start this blog for the last... 8 years? I haven't really had the time to sit down and write something on a paper, except endless to-do lists in both life and work. Life had been so fast-paced lately with so many things to accomplish every single day. From seven in the morning, you hurry to prepare for (remote) work, juggle so many tasks, and then (hurry) to bed around eleven because you have another "early day" at work. The funny thing is that your brain thinks there is an end to this, but in reality, you are stuck in a routine that is so addicting because it is so easy to do the same thing over and over again that taking a pause feels like another task - a mindless task - and due to the fact, it does not seem so appealing to do it because it does not give a sense of "fulfilment" in your "busy day". I am glad that I am able to really sit down and write. It's been a while since I really want...

It's been four months since I packed everything in UAE and moved to France. I would not really say it is completely perfect - I miss my family back in UAE and I am farther from home now - but I am happier that I am living my day to day with my husband.  Despite the difficulties in paper works to be integrated here, I enjoy the fresher air and calm environment. I had the opportunity to continue working for the same company remotely although I do not know until when can this setup will be. I guess when that time comes, I may probably have to search for a remote work setup as I am not comfortable enough to commute into Paris. I've been accustomed now to working from home and I see myself doing the same until I can't anymore.  Anyway, about routines... my husband and I have pretty much the same day to day. Wake up around 8 am (7:50 am radio alarm), shower, quick breakfast. My husband leaves around 8:40 am to work which starts 9-5pm. I have an extra 1 hour as I need to clock out...

Dear FutureMe, For the past weeks (or should I say months, to be honest...), all you had to think about is to take a break. Really, a good reset. At least a whole month of reset from working. And then get back up and find new opportunities. You are waiting for the perfect timing to be together with your fiance - and that means to be married and enjoy life together. Even though there is no definite time when that will be because of the COVID situation, the thought of finally being together, after 10 years of knowing each other, really excites the both of you. Anyway, at this point in time of writing, you are dealing with so much push and pull right now. You are super stressed out but I am proud of you because are slowly knowing your worth. You feel stuck at where you are in your career and therefore you are so eager to take a break. It's more difficult when no one taps on you to say you are doing okay. But you are doing fine. I am proud of you. Even if you don't see anything tha...

Cold mornings under the blanket next to you. It's silent; your breath is all I  hear. Comfort. We have a few minutes to stay still. Calming. Waiting for the radio alarm to turn on. It plays a music I've never heard before. The kind of music they used to play back then. It's calming, comforting, to be next to you. Cold mornings every single day for winter. With you, life is never easy,  I know it. My life is meaningful when I'm  with you. 

Good morning. I am awake around 4:30ish and I couldn't get back to sleep. So im just drinking hot water and sitting next to the window waiting for the sun to shine. I am listening to old songs that I used to hear around this time back home in Davao and I realize how much I miss these slow-and-easy early bird moments. Except that I am not hearing any soft waves from the sea. I miss the fresh air back home. Anyway, the world seems so silent right now - and I love it. I don't know why I can't go back to sleep. How strange. It's probably the Advil I took last night. Or maybe my body just wants to have a me time to relax but not sleep because there are too many things in my head when I am asleep (I kept waking up in between during the night). It's probably my body telling me to take a pause from the endless list of things that I like (or not necessarily) doing. So I will enjoy this time - this silent time - the silent mind . . . before it runs on the treadmill again.

Dear FutureMe, Today, you are happy because you received good news from your company. They have increased your salary gradually until the end of the year. It is gradual because of the pandemic. It's amazing! You weren't expecting such a big raise most especially during the pandemic.  Despite the fact that you felt miserable in the past years, finally, you got what you deserve. But then, you are planning to move by early next year. I just hope that, wherever you are today, you are happy. And I mean, happy in a full sense that does not only depend on money. Living in Dubai, most of the people you've met talks about money all the time. Are you even in the right crowd? I hope that wherever you are, you find happiness in real things. Happiness is a state of mind. You are a happy person - a happy kid. Whatever you are doing right now, wherever you are, I hope that you are satisfied in life. Sure, all things are not given to you very easily, but there is always a reason why.  Mate...