where is this sun you speak of?

Let me talk about three things: life, friendship, love. Life. As I grow older, I begin to understand how things work. Although not entirely as I still have a lot of questions unanswered and questions yet to encounter. There will always be the good one and the bad one. Most of the time, what feels good is so difficult to achieve and what feels bad is just around the corner. A lot will go against you; throwing bad words and bad energy until you're finally down and too hopeless to rise again. Their laughter will slowly go through your heart and it will try to break everything until you feel dead. On the other hand, there's a humble amount of good ones left but they are always too far to reach but are always hopeful for you to be happy. Although far, the good ones always combat the bad. It may usually take a long time but if you're hopeful enough, you will get the prize. This is what it feels like from where I am now. You may not understand it because we're all diffe...

I am thankful for the people who have been with me throughout the years even if I look silly whenever I eat ice cream.Heh. I am thankful for a lot of things. I am thankful for having some friends and family. Those people who truly believes in me despite my imperfections. I am thankful for music, affordable fruits, book sales, and scented candles. Small things like these make me happy.  I am thankful for sunny mornings, rainy nights, or the other way around. I am thankful for knowing good people. Because they inspire me to act like them. I am thankful for knowing the bad side of them . Because they serve as lessons in life. I am thankful for freedom of expression. I am thankful for love, hate, and all other feelings in between. I am thankful for you . For spending time reading my words and understanding my thoughts. I am thankful for life , for life!

Action Sampler loaded with 35 mm redscale film A year ago was too long ago to remember each of the highs and lows. But definitely not too long ago to remember the feel of those smiles and frowns. A year ago, I was fine. The girl who still has the same dreams as now but for sure has achieved some of her dreams from years ago. It seems to me that, whenever I look back, all those smiles and frowns meant something for something that could be happening now or tomorrow, or a day after tomorrow. There were detours, right decisions and bad decisions as well. There were satisfying and breaking moments as well. There was always a share of good and bad. Yin and Yang.

Photo taken during Tanduay Rhum Rockfest 2012 The recent concert I've been to was Tanduay Rhum Rockfest (October 2012). That night was a very good one!  When it comes to music, most of us opt for something fresh and for some reason, we hope that it's not something that most people in the planet know. I was one of those people who are too scared to put up something in Facebook or Twitter or anywhere about this new *cool* band that makes awesome music because people might love it and later the whole universe. (And that is kind of annoying). But that was me before this concert (maybe way before that). I realized that music should be shared because it somehow connects us to strangers who later on become our friends. Music serves as a common ground to each one of us. It feels good when somebody knows your favorite song. It's even more surprising when somebody sings an old song that you thought was non-existent to everyone else but you. There are different types o...

When I am asked about what my earliest memory is, there are actually a lot of scenes playing in my head. I can't point which one's the earliest, so I'm just guessing the one which I danced on our wooden bed when I heard this TV commercial. I can't remember what it was but my sister told me years ago that I used to dance to Humpy Dumpy TVC.  I used to hide in our bedroom when I dance. I'm shy. :P

If money isn't a problem, I would tour in Europe. I've always wanted to go to Paris. It's the only place I've known in France until I've met someone from Lille. Photo dump! All photos are taken by Aurelien of Lille, France :) These photos were taken on January 5, 2007 around 9:50 in the evening. It was during Bombsayers de Lille. According to Yanyan (I made up that name. Good thing he likes it!), Bombsayers de Lille is a joke. It means: "kisses from Lille" but Bombay is the French name for Mumbay, town in India. During the event, there were shows in different places but they didn't go. It was raining so we stayed in the car. That's why the photos are not so great and the angle is weird. There were big and tall elephants in the place. Cars can pass under them! "Big and tall, all girls say that when they see it" :P The station decorated as an Indian Place I think I'd love Lille more than Paris. (My friend says L...

Washed clothes. Hand washed them because the machine is not working except for the dryer. Checked out my plants -- tomatoes, bell peppers, others. My plants are growing! Had breakfast with Ate Mila. Washed dishes. Made some hot cocoa. Played with Karsten while he was watching television. I was trying to get a nap but he slaps my arm and wakes me up everytime he sees something on television (e.g. flowers, fish, cow.) Worked on some Technical Description in my brother's office from 10 AM to 5 PM. Entertained two clients in my pajamas. I didn't even care what they'd think. 100 hoolahoops; 100 jumps using jumping rope; 3 rounds using the bicycle. Had dinner by myself. Took a shower. Now killing time until I fall asleep. Also, listening to oldies.  It was a productive, work-filled day. And it is summer. I want to go to the beach so bad. 

The Walking Dead (30-day, psh screw that ) Challenge: 1. Favourite male character. Why? Rick Grimes. First of all, because he is a sexy Sheriff. He's brave and smart and wise and I like the way he thinks and he considers other people's say on the situation. Also, he knows how to listen, and he's hot. 2. Favourite female character. Why? At first it was Lori Grimes but she has been acting a little bitchy on the second season. So it would be Andrea because she's tough and a brave girl. 3.  Lori/Shane or Lori/Rick? Lori/Rick because they look good together despite Lori being such a pain in the ass . Ha! 4. What survivor would you be 100% okay with if they were killed next episode? T-Dog. or maybe Lori. 5. On a scale of 1-10 how scary do you think the show is? 10, of course. Damn, zombies. 6.  Has there been any specific Walker that scared you the most? Why? None. All of them looked scary to me. That bicycle zombie didn't scare me much. When I saw her...

I am not the kind who believes in horoscopes. I wrote something about my zodiac sign because it is part of a 'blog challenge' and one of the things that's written there is -- Strength: Perfectionist. And I agree to that. Back in since high school, when we subscribed to a local newspaper, everyday I read what's written in the horoscope (because as a youngster, that's what all there is to read in that paper full of bad news). It always speaks about Virgo people being perfectionists. Always. So, it is stuck in my head that I am a perfectionist. Later on, I realized that all of us are perfectionists. Maybe not all the time but we are perfectionists. We want things to be perfect especially those things that are very important to us like first date, school projects, exams, debut party, wedding, cakes, etc. So, I've been thinking does being a perfectionist good? I mean, could you enjoy life even more when everything you do is perfect? Of course. Life is even mor...

I would like my future to be more adventurous; have tight relationships with a lover and a small number of friends, be busy at work but have time for other things; spend free afternoons baking cookies, cake and others; own a small house even if I am not married yet; design my own house; own a small store be it a coffee shop, boutique, flower shop, or anything; design my own shop; own a space on the internet; publish all these entries in a book; ... With no specific place to spend all these things yet, I would like my future to be stable in a happy place. Just because it is a happy place doesn't mean I wouldn't like to face problems. I know there is a copious amount of problems waiting for me but living in a happy place -- being with people I love and being surrounded with people who are nice -- would make everything fine.

The moment when I turned 21 years old. Or, maybe days after. Few steps back from my 21st birthday, I decided to celebrate it in an unusual way since my brother and I share the same birthday (with years apart. I don't exactly know how many years, haha). We usually invite friends to come over and have a lot of food served for everyone ever since. But that ever since memory started maybe when he became an engineer. Sadly, I can't remember any birthday celebrations before that. But I'm sure my parents always had something to celebrate on our birthday. Fast forward to my 21st birthday -- I woke up in the morning when my brother, Ate Karen and Karsten opened my door and surprised me with a gift: a tumbler with six photos and a "Tita Debie" written on it. Also, Karsten sat on top of me and sang me the birthday song. Heh. Ate Karen asked me how many classmates am I inviting for dinner and I said something like: "None." But my brother insisted to invite so...

My Zodiac sign is Virgo and according to some horoscopes I've read on the internet: She has quite a determination and can do anything if she sets her mind to it. A Virgo girl believes that she is extremely efficient and organized.  She is a stickler for time and it's better not to be late when you are meeting her. It is better to leave her alone for sometime and she will cool again. Her taste is very good and her intellect quite developed. Just like a typical Virgo, she is prone to worrying about things too muchand she will do your part of the job too. She is very sensitive and her feelings are pretty fragile, but she will become exceedingly strong when you need her support. Strengths: Perfectionist Weaknesses: Too critical, Lacks demonstrativeness And I say, everything you read above is true. I am not saying I believe on these things [horoscopes]. I just picked out the things that described me most from the adjectives given. There are a lot of things about me but...

Part of the challenge is to write about "a time you thought about ending your own life.". I have made a lot of suicidal letters back in high school because then I thought my life should end because my parents are gone and my siblings have their own lives. Then I realized committing suicide won't solve the problem. Something tells me that living a wonderful life isn't living a life where you always get what you want, where you are always happy and that people like you forever. Challenges and trials make life wonderful. PS. I sometimes cry at night because I hate how some people manipulate what my life should be. But I'm not giving up. Screw them. Someday I'm gonna live a happy life with/o them.

The way I see it, alcoholic beverages are enjoyed not by its taste but by the feeling it gives you when the drink starts kicking in. Back in the days, I used to drink in the bars but then I realized drinking in a public place is not safe. That's based on my experience. So then, I decided to drink in private places like over at my friends' house, my home and in the beach. Alcohol is best when you're in the beach. Freedom is there. You can do anything you want. Be merry with your friends. Laugh your lungs out. Dance to the moon. You can even raise your middle finger to the sea and express what you feel. Alcohol in the beach with friends is the best thing to do before the world ends. ;p Same as drugs, well I haven't tried it, but if natural herbs count then yes. Not that you have to count me as one of the society's drug addicts because I just tried it once and the amount was too small. I tried it because I was curious and I don't want to be ignorant at it. To pr...

When I was a kid, my mom always wakes me up very early in the morning to go to church. I didn't like going to church; I find it boring and I always sleep during mass. I was never the kind of kid who enjoys being part of a choir, Bible readers, and the like. None of it was part of my childhood. But it doesn't mean I don't believe in God. I can say I have a strong faith towards Him but I don't know why I can't let it show to everybody -- like attending mass. I always thank God every time I wake up in the morning even though I know its going to be a bad day. When I travel out of town, I pray for safety. I keep a Rosary in my wallet. Before exams, I pray for the Holy Spirit to guide me and help me focus. Every time I am troubled, I keep myself quiet and understand why God gave me this problem. But I always thank Him for giving me problems, because in that way, I know, He loves me and that He's watching over me. Sometimes I visit the Ateneo chapel and pray. Before...

In 10 years, I will be 30 years old so I guess I am working by then. I'd probably stay in this country but of course, I'd be travelling from time to time. I would love to be in France. Watch the Lavander fields, eat French food, wine tasting, climb mountains, go to beaches and etc. I would love to take photos of the streets, random French people passing by, buildings... I don't know why I am digging on France right now. This plan may change in the future but as of the moment my heart belongs to France. I've been daydreaming to be in that country this past few weeks. So in 10 years, I would like to be in  France.

Being single doesn't mean I'm lonely. I may be alone at times but I'm happy. But sometimes whenever I hear a music that's so sweet and so cute, I wish I can sing it with someone at the moment. Or being in any place far away from the city, or when I'm in the beach, I wish I am with someone special having fun along with our friends. I want my guy to listen to the music I like since I don't listen to mainstream so much. He knows how to play the guitar and plays my favorite song while he lets me sing it for him even if I'm not good at singing. He smiles when I fail to sing the song correctly while I laugh and keep singing it until the song ends. He kisses me right after every song! A guy who is so humble and is always good to go. Doesn't care so much about what the society wants. Likes to be in the beach, mountains or any place far away from the city. Prefers to be in my room rather than spending time in the mall. And when I wake up, its good to see panc...