Erase the noise

Lately, my headspace has been quite a ball of dust. In the last few days, I have always reminded myself to have a full me-time, step back and reflect. Sometimes communication from people may make or break you and lately, I've been fed words that I am not quite sure how to grasp. For the most part, though, they make me doubt myself and it triggers my anxiety because of overthinking.

Therefore, lately, I have been diverting myself from things that somehow helped me take a step back. I am grateful for these things.

• Mandala coloring - it helps me reflect and meditate along with a song that plays in the background while I am coloring the book - very relaxing. On this particular day on 9th February, I lit my Lavender scented candle to add a more relaxing feel. I came across this comment from Youtube and I love it so much that I decided to write it on the page. Along with the words that were inside my head while I was coloring the mandala.

"Tensions, fears, procrastination, lies, depression, anxiety, self-doubt... it can be changed over time, do what your heart tells you to do, be a better person, enjoy life, improve yourself every day, be yourself, don't be ashamed of who you are."

• TransformAsian - Virtual Conference (Career Panel) - Eileen has shared this with me and I am so thankful for it. So much is covered in the Career Panel that resonates with me so much. 

"...I realized that the idea of qualifiers as an identity is more detrimental than helpful. It's great to have goals. It's great to achieve but just achieving the goals does not make you who you are..."

• Family - forever grateful for each of my family and extended family. A few days ago, my Balikbayan box reached home and it was so nice to see my family open it and see how happy they are with my sweet nothings (mostly, chocolates lol). 

• Work from home setup - we have been extended to work from home for the month of February. Working from home for almost a year now has been great and I am pretty sad that we're going back to work. Oh well, I guess it's good in a way because that means we are back to normal - somehow. I mean... I am not sure about this but I am just hoping for the best.

• Green tea and me-time - lately, I practiced to log off at exactly (or around) six o'clock. And change my mind to prepare for me-time which had been mostly about listening to my favorite music, watching Youtube, taking a walk outside, or reading a book, and my green tea. It's very calming really.

• COVID experience - I got COVID a few weeks ago and was isolated for two weeks. It was confusing to be honest because I got the message early morning and I did not have any symptoms at all. I am alright now. And grateful that I did not experience any bad symptoms at all. Grateful for my loved ones who always made sure I am doing okay and checking in.

• Miku and Nami - I am so into watching Miku and Nami on Youtube. Their videos remind me to take my time slowly and do things intently in my day-to-day life. I was watching them during my isolation period and really their videos had sort of accompanied me in those days. 

• BomberFriends with Yanyan - Grateful for this little game app that makes me and Yanyan play against each other on Bomberman. It's a funny game and since both of us are so competitive with each other, it really has been cutting the gap of us being away from each other.

• The sorrow of War book - This book has been a slow read for me because it's a sad book about a real-life story of a soldier during the Vietnam War. I bought it a few years ago while backpacking in Saigon with Eileen. That trip was nice and sad especially the day we visited the museum - the only museum that really made me almost about to cry... it's such a sad reality. I hope the nations would prevent such catastrophes in the future as it does not really do any good.

I am grateful for

Manoy Toben and I, Desert Safari, Dubai, 2019

Even though I am very far from my family during the pandemic, I am still grateful that I live in a place where I feel safe and comfortable. And I am willing to take this opportunity to learn to live simply just being at home and learning how to deal with simple household chores. I would like to think that taking a responsibility for some chores would help me get ready for the future - who knows.

The coffee shop nearby where I go and visit sometimes on Friday or Saturday mornings. Sometimes I think it's good to be out (and cautious) and see the outside world. I like spending early mornings in a cafe, reading a book, having my cup of coffee and a cookie to pair with, while also watching the city slowly gets busier as the day progresses.

I have witnessed that the company that I work for is not only customer-centric but also people-centric. I admire our CEO's positivity most especially during the pandemic. I hope things would get better very soon.

I am grateful for the fresh produce available in nearby markets. I love spending my early weekend mornings at the market and get home to prepare my meals for the weekend and weekday cooking veggies. They make me happy and feel healthy.

Fiction. I can escape the harsh reality for a while and be in a different world in my books! It helps me get inspired and think less about the stressors that surround me. 

The people who matter most to me are healthy and doing their own ways to stay healthy and not get too depressed about this virus and its effects in our lives: means of living, less freedom o move around, etc. My family, most especially, have their ways to get creative, responsible, and happy despite the global situation that we are in. We are always sharing pictures of recipes cooked/baked, gardening, music, etc. I think having a positive mindset would ease the stress in life brought by COVID. 

I am grateful for

Trang An, Ninh Binh, Vietnam

We are all facing the biggest challenge all around the world right now and it is so easy to just be depressed and anxious about it. However, we always need to ensure to find joy despite the situation we are in. During these times, I am grateful for...

• Being with my family in Abu Dhabi just before the lockdown was in place. I couldn't imagine not being with them during this pandemic. 

Back story: it was a Thursday and just finished work (at home) when my sister called and asked me if I want to go to Abu Dhabi just before the lockdown Dubai started at 8 in the evening. At first, I said I can stay in here and there is nothing to worry about anything (I had bought lots of food; enough for a two-week lockdown). I had to call her back after two minutes and asked if they can pick me up. They drove from Abu Dhabi to Dubai (picked me up and my a few of my things - which is mostly food that I had ready just-in-case) and back to Abu Dhabi in 3 hours. 😁 We arrived just in time (8-ish pm) at their home in Abu Dhabi.

• Being able to work from home. I know that some people got laid off because of COVID-19. I am grateful and still lucky that my company takes care of its employees despite the fact that the travel industry is terribly hit by this pandemic. 
• The government of UAE for exerting so much effort to ensure safety and protection for each individual. Most especially the security of the front-liners who keep the ball rolling to ensure there is food, electricity, safety, and of course those in the health sector. 
• The fact that we are able to prepare food on a daily basis in this pandemic. I was watching some movies about pandemics and world wars and documentaries too and I couldn't imagine living in those times without the essentials in order to survive. Also, based on the news I have glanced upon, the poor people are being looked out for as well by their government to ensure they are able to survive.
• Safety of my family and friends. I hope everyone stays healthy and that this pandemic ends very soon. It makes me anxious to know that my sister's friends over in the UK who are nurses are one of those that are affected by the virus. 
• I told my boss about this last week: one of the thoughts that make me happy is to know that the world is able to breathe a little. Right? At least, mother nature breathes less air pollution. (However, there was a forest fire somewhere in Ukraine. It's very saddening. Hope everyone is safe up there) 😕
• I did not have the chance to bring books (I only brought 1 and have finished it a few weeks ago) and forgot to bring my Kindle. Jill is kind enough to refer to some real books to me. So, currently, I am ready "How To Enjoy Your Life and Your Job" by Dale Carnegie. Surely, not the kind of book that I would pick up from a bookstore or library, but I am grabbing this chance to read non-fiction as something to try.
• Good music.As always. And this week, I found a feel-good song. It reminds me so much of the good times pre-Corona. It keeps my hopes up that things are going to be good soon. The song is: Feels Good To Laugh by Honeywhip.
• I received a piece of good news despite this depressing time. My team had an early conference call last Wednesday morning and announced that I got promoted. 💗

I am grateful for

Marina, Abu Dhabi, 2020

Ten things I am grateful for:

• Kuya Mel and Ate Aking for celebrating Valentine's day with me.
• Kuya Mel for giving me a rose on Valentine's day - twice in a row for the last two years!
• Kuya Mel and Ate Aking for being so thoughtful and bought me two boxes of facial masks since there are no available masks from any pharmacy near me (and workplace).
• My teammates for a job well done at work last week. Teamwork makes the dream work!
• The internet for holding so much content to drive creativity. I just prepared my meal for next week based on the recipes I found online. So for the upcoming week's lunch will be a fruity shrimp salad and dinner will be roasted chicken with vegetables. If not for the internet, I would probably just resort to instant noodles or online food and definitely laziness 😂
• For the free digital garage course from Google. I am currently going through the modules and hopefully get a certification once I am able to finish soon.
• The guy at Carrefour for helping me pack the things I bought.
• My boss for sharing words of appreciation in the last weeks.
• Grateful for awesome music that is easily available on the internet and of course to the person who compiled all of them in one playlist. I listened to it for the whole week at work. Something that kept me alive and kicking, figuratively, at work is AC / DC 🙌
• Aurelien for visiting me couple of weeks ago. And for meeting my family as well. And also for just being there, always 💕

I am grateful for

Brugges, Belgium 2019

Ten things I am grateful for:

• The time to break a sweat in the gym in order to enhance my mood, drain some fats (!!) and be assertive.
• The free will to live my life the way how I want it every single day. 
• Easy access to listen to podcasts. I am binging on 'The Linya Linya Show' and 'Wake Up With Jim & Saab'.
• Great books - I just had finished reading 'The Kite Runner' and loved it! I'm planning to watch the movie later in the day.
• My connection to the internet in order to feel my family's presence although I am miles away from home.
• A safe place to live in.
• The people I've met for the last 4 years that I have lived in Dubai.
• Knowing that I will come home soon to be with family.
• A job that gives me satisfaction.
• Food on the table.

Reminders for daily living

 Fall in love with taking care of yourself, mind, body and spirit.

Like wildflowers, you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would.

How to not be hard on yourself?

• Your mistakes are part of your learning
• Don't compare yourself to others because you are not them. 
• There is no right way to do anything.
• Stand up for what you believe, even if it's unpopular.
• Learn from people who criticise you.
• Accept your weaknesses as your "features"
• Look at your past as an Adventurous Biography.
• Every single problem you have is not the same.
• Surround yourself with people who want you to SUCCEED
• Express your anger in a creative way

1 of 25 Things

One of the things from my 25 of things to do for my 25th year is to plant at least 8 trees. Well, I am glad that I had the chance to plant 22 trees before I left the Philippines! We planted 17 trees in Lamanan Calinan and 5 trees in Malagamot, Panacan.

Trees planted in Lamanan, Calinan:
3 Calamansi
3 Mango Florida
3 Mango Apple
3 Mangosteen
2 Guava
2 Avocado
1 Jackfruit

Trees planted in Malagamot, Panacan:
2 Lanzones
2 Mangosteen
1 Durian

I shared this fun activity with my family (Ate Rachel, Manoy Junjun & Cousins: Kuya Danny and Romel).

If you're not happy with your friends, what's best to do?

Spent some time on Omegle a few days ago. I was there to ask: If you're not happy with your friends, what's best to do? And here are the first five answers (and conversations) I got from two strangers at a time.

1.) Sleep -- I do this most of the time. Mostly when I feel sad at things not just with people but events and other factors. It sure does make me feel okay but I know it's still there.

2.) Get new friends -- Not easy. But I guess I need to try.

3.) Murder -- Hahaha okay.

4.) Talk to them about why -- Not good with this though I often ask if I did something wrong and they tell me nothing.


5.) Travel -- My favorite answer. Yes, of course. I need to travel alone or with family or with new people.

Here are the conversations from two strangers:

Conversation 1:

Stranger 1: ni hao ma
Stranger 2: kill them !
Stranger 2: KILL THEM ALL !!
Stranger 2: THEY DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE !
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: kill them with an axe
Stranger 1: bitch please
Stranger 2: or a chainsaw
Stranger 2: just kill them
Stranger 1: what lol.
Stranger 2: did it myself too, killed them all with my favorite teddy bear
Stranger 1: lol cool story bro
Stranger 2: don't use random internet quotes on me fuck tard !
Stranger 1: k kill yourself then
Stranger 2: you bring yourself into teddy bears range mister !
Stranger 1: i love you
Stranger 2: oh stop it you
Stranger 1: <3 <3
Stranger 1: lol. where u from?
Stranger 2: i have to say one thing ! i hate you questioner
Stranger 2: ich bin aus Österreich
Stranger 1: what.. i'm being nice already
Stranger 2: AUSTRIA !
Stranger 2: oh not you Stranger
Stranger 1: who?
Stranger 2: i mean this third stranger watching us "discuss"
Stranger 1: oh, yeah.. bit creepy
Stranger 2: I say you one thing, men from Austria hate agents !
Stranger 2: or spys or whatever you call those fuckheads
Stranger 1: agents? why do you hate agents?
Stranger 2: i don't know? why do i hate the pope? i don't fucking know
Stranger 2: i just do it
Stranger 2: like NIKE (tm)
Stranger 2: oh god i hate Nike !
Stranger 1: oh.. what language do you speak?
Stranger 1: in Austria?
Stranger 1: english?
Stranger 2: no no
Stranger 2: we speak german
Stranger 2: like germany
Stranger 2: but different dialect
Stranger 2: where r u from?
Stranger 1 has disconnected

Hahaha they are so cute. Kill them with a Teddy Bear? It sure is a nice idea, Stranger 2. I love you. :p

Conversation 2:

Stranger 2: Get new ones?
Stranger 1: kidnap them
Stranger 2: ...then what?
Stranger 1: toss them in a lake
Stranger 1: run to mexico
Stranger 2: Wait a sec
Stranger 2: I'm British
Stranger 2: How am I meant to run to Mexico?
Stranger 1: ... swim to Mexico. or run to a neighboring european country.
Stranger 2: ...
Stranger 2: Britain is an island.
Stranger 1: I'm no major in geography, man. Swim. Use your leg muscles as much as your brain muscles.
Stranger 2: Alright man
Stranger 1: or run on water.
Stranger 2: After I swim, then what?
Stranger 1: Jesus did it.
Stranger 1: become a warlord dictator in your new country and live happily ever after.
Stranger 2: I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT
Stranger 2: Thank you
Stranger 2: I'll get right on it
Stranger 1: You do that. Go proud. Go free. Go deadly.

 Hahaha I will toss them into the mouth of Mount Apo. Just kidding.

Conversation 3:

Stranger 2: Leave
Stranger 1: kill them
Stranger 2: That too

Okay, I'll just leave. :P

Conversation 4:

Stranger 2: Talk to them about why
Stranger 1: time will heal
Stranger 2: Time heals nothing
Stranger 2: Some things heal in time, but time doesn't actually heal shit.
Stranger 1: o
Stranger 2: Take it from someone who was hurt a long time ago lol :)
Stranger 1: but I am really healed lol though sometimes I remind and it was hout again lol
Stranger 2: I'm re-learning to exist still
Stranger 2: Doin OK
Stranger 1: would to be the first one to compromise lol?
Stranger 2: But its a scar that I dont think goes away, changed me a lot. Not necessarily all for the worse, but it has changed me.
Stranger 1: yeah!!
Stranger 2: Depends on what it is.
Stranger 2: I'm a very accommodating person
Stranger 2: But I also cling strongly to my principles
Stranger 2: If it's a core principle, I won't compromise. If it's just a thing, then I generally will.
Stranger 1: got it
Stranger 1: I seldom break up with my friend actually lol
Stranger 2: Same here
Stranger 2: I've had friends break up with me though
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 1: how come?
Stranger 2: And honestly there are people I'm realizing that its better for me to not be around
Stranger 2: Mostly because I've counted on the wrong people lol
Stranger 1: o
Stranger 1: :)
Stranger 2: There's one that I really regret
Stranger 2: Losing the love of my life
Stranger 2: Well, I dunno. I regret a lot of them.
Stranger 1: who's that?
Stranger 2: But not many do I feel like are legitimately my fault.
Stranger 2: Her name was Hailey. She was a beautiful, wonderful, kind, genius of a girl who I was with for seven years.
Stranger 1: what thing can be so serious then?
Stranger 2: I have been alive for 31 years and she was the only person I've ever met who was really like me on the inside.
Stranger 1: that's touching!
Stranger 2: It was weird, but wonderful.
Stranger 2: It spoiled me a little I think, because I started to think that I wasn't so alone in the world.
Stranger 2: I didn't realize that the two of us were basically just as alone as I used to think I by myself was.
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: Heh
Stranger 2: :)
Stranger 2: I dunno. I've lost quite a few people that I miss.
Stranger 2: My best friend since the age of 14 was a guy named Jon
Stranger 1: then?
Stranger 2: We had all the same interests, came up in the computer industry together
Stranger 1: :)
Stranger 2: Then cocaine and other heavy drugs too I guess like heroin.
Stranger 1: oh
Stranger 2: He was on his way to being a really important person in the computer industry
Stranger 2: And he could have been my in as well
Stranger 2: But instead, cocaine and hard drugs led him to start living in crack houses
Stranger 2: I dont even think he cares about computers anymore.
Stranger 2: Or his old friends.
Stranger 1: didn't you help him?!
Stranger 2: I tried I guess.
Stranger 2: I told him that he was fucking up, killing himself, destroying his future
Stranger 2: But he was always depressive and I think does not mind killing himself as long as it doesn't hurt
Stranger 1: :(
Stranger 1: oh
Stranger 1: I haven't met that yet
Stranger 2: Yeah, it actually hurts a bit to think about that one too. I wish I would have known what to do to snap him out of it
Stranger 1: you don't have to do so
Stranger 2: If I ever actually loved another man it was him lol
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: Its part of that compromising on core principles thing I guess
Stranger 1: he was a part of you, everyone you met are
Stranger 2: Even if I knew there was nothing I could do, and that it wasn't my fault
Stranger 2: I would still feel obligated
Stranger 1: yeah
Stranger 1: it is
Stranger 2: Yeah. Some more than others I guess, but its true.
Stranger 1: your story is inspiring lol
Stranger 2: Hahaha well thank you
Stranger 1: in contrast with mine
Stranger 1: :)
Stranger 2: Whats your story?
Stranger 1: ha there's nothing outstanding, my friends are always there, only one have left I think
Stranger 2: I have noticed that as people get older they grow apart from friends
Stranger 1: oh!
Stranger 2: Adults dont get close to each other like younger people
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: I picture it like lions
Stranger 1: well
Stranger 1: ?
Stranger 2: You know when the lions are young they roam together in packs
Stranger 2: But as they age the lions split off and take up their own prides, and if they run into their old friends they are competitive with them
Stranger 1: oh
Stranger 1: why
Stranger 2: I don't know why, instinct I guess. It seems sad to me.
Stranger 1: humans aren't lol !
Stranger 1: I won't consider that
Stranger 2: humans aren't what?
Stranger 1: maybe one day I'll leave my friends, but still we are together, aren't we? the passion won't be shatter so easily right?!
Stranger 1: we are friends as well
Stranger 2: I wish I could tell you that is true, but I think it does get shattered.
Stranger 2: For most people at least.
Stranger 2: Some are lucky and keep friends forever. I would have been like that I think, but the friends I had and circumstances we hit didn't allow it.
Stranger 1: we have undergone part of life!
Stranger 2: I would talk about this with my friends when we were young
Stranger 2: How I was afraid it would happen, just had a gut feeling.
Stranger 1: it did happen!?
Stranger 2: Part of our lives
Stranger 2: Yeah it happened. I really don't know many of my old friends at all.
Stranger 2: My old roommate works at the same place I do
Stranger 1: I can't imagine that lol
Stranger 2: We haven't spoken to each other more than twice, and never for more than a minute or two
Stranger 1: you should try!
Stranger 1: when it comes to the memories you had
Stranger 2: Another of my old friends works in India now, we haven't spoken in a couple of years
Stranger 2: I have tried. It... it isn't the same anymore.
Stranger 2: Another friend is a meth dealer who works at a bank, lol.
Stranger 2: Who has become a totally different person.
Stranger 1: uh
Stranger 1: no:(
Stranger 2: Another, a girl, moved out of state and has two young children and an abusive ex husband who is stalking her and just got out of jail
Stranger 2: Another girl married a female-to-male transsexual and lives in Texas now.
Stranger 2: Its like at the end of those TV shows about old times
Stranger 1: lol
Stranger 2: When the movie is done and before the credits roll
Stranger 1: uh
Stranger 2: Where you find out how the rest of everyone's lives turned out after sharing a few years of it with them
Stranger 2: That's exactly what it feels like
Stranger 2: We're just writing those ending words now, that's what our lives are.
Stranger 1: I don't want to be so pessimistic lol
Stranger 2: hahaha
Stranger 2: thats just what it feels like, i dunno if its sad or not
Stranger 1: I think you should recollect those things lol
Stranger 1: they once be wonderful, don't throw it easily:)
Stranger 2: i agree
Stranger 2: maybe some day i'll write a book
Stranger 1: haha
Stranger 1: good idea lol
Stranger 2: hey i gotta go bro
Stranger 2 has disconnected

 This is my favorite among all the conversations I've read. Stranger 2 is right with the lion part.

Oh well. Friends come and go.

List of things I wish I said

This isn't any cute post or anything I wish I could have said to someone I love. I am out of that pace so you'd read the otherwise. Because I've been to most terrible things and situation in life nowadays. I've written these in my notebook the other night.

1. The world does not revolve around you. So stop acting like you're the most important shit that had ever dumped!

2. I wish I had said that you don't need to shout in order to get one's attention. If we want to listen to you, we would. So stop acting so much like a desperate girl trying to catch someone's attention.

3. You're adorable but I don't like the fact that you're making me do something for someone who I don't want to reconnect to.

4. Your negative vibe always puts me in a bad mood.

5. You're such a snob.

6. Fuck those guys who abuse their girlfriends. If I am going to stumble upon you, I am going to let you suffer much more than your ex-girlfriend suffered from you.

7. Seriously? Making a sound of spitting is not funny. Try to have manners, please. You think it's cool? No. [Just at least know who'll hear it because if everyone in that room are your friends, it would be funny but if not, it is not and it is gross!! I am sorry but we're not friends so you know what I mean!]

I wish I was brave and strong and bitchy enough to let you know how I hated those moments. I had difficult nights trying to get some sleep but whenever I remember those awful moments (those moments when I was extremely annoyed but can't say anything), I cry a little bit because (A) I realize I am such a loser for not saying anything (B) I am not happy and I can't seem to find any happy moments to think of (C) I can't find any happy thoughts to divert to. What a cruel world.

10 Thoughts For The Day

• Don't just talk and talk. Think first before talking. Think if what you're going to say won't harm one's feelings. Also, when asking questions, don't ask something so obvious or you'll look stupid.

• Assuming is okay but sometimes we overreact to something that happened which leads us to assume very nice things. Sometimes assuming makes us happy. Other times, it makes us very sad. So when you find yourself assuming too much, pause for a while and remind yourself to stay calm and don't think too much about it. As much as possible divert your attention to something else.

• Some people don't show their angelic face all the time. You may get annoyed at them because they look so negative to you thus ruining your day (or those times when you get all so happy and then someone's aura smells so bad and you thought it's because of you so you start to hate this person) but you should know that people have other businesses so you might as well ignore them or you can change their mood to a positive vibe. That surely is a combo!

• Too much use of social networking sites is not good. Why? Well, all of us have something to say about how bad it is so I will leave it up to you. We might have the same sentiments, too! (I am very proud of myself for not using too much of it nowadays except Twitter. Yay!)

• There's too much to learn in life. If you're in your 20's, spread yourself to different activities like cooking, cleaning, making crafts, painting or any other things that you haven't tried ever since. Do multitasking (not only in front of the computer) but in real life, too!

• Sometimes you need to let go of some good things life has offered you. Move on. And start another journey in a different road.

• Grades aren't the basis of how good you are as a person. You may fail but there's a reason why it happened. Especially when you did your best but the situation is just so complicated.

• "Life is not a race." (as told by a very good friend when I was so sad because of failure) Also, if you're not living in a dull/complicated/plain sad life (sometimes), then there's nothing to write about or talk about or to be challenged.

• Respect the elders especially when they are always there for you ever since. If you get annoyed because they don't agree with your decisions and other stuff (or because you're such a brat lol) , respect their decision. Don't say bad words. Keep calm and just nod. Seriously, when these kind of people don't go your way, it is a sign that you must think twice and analyze some things in the decision you are making. They know more about life than you do. And they care about you. :)

• Be thankful always to have such loving family or friends. Those people who feed you positive vibes when you're really down. Who are always willing to give you nice words just so you wouldn't feel very sad anymore. Love them. Don't let them go. Also, do the same when they need help. We all need a healthy relationship even with such a small number of people.

10 Things I Know To Be True (Inspired by Sarah Kay)

1. We all have different taste in music and all other things. So there's no way we could fight over the opposites. Also, fighting over which type of music genre is the best is ridiculous. Things will never be okay if that happens. It will create hate and so on. So avoid that.

2. We hate some people at some point. Admit it. There are times you just can't look someone in their eyes because you don't like them at the moment or the worse from the very beginning.

3. I am a happy person but. We all are, by default, happy individuals BUT when heartaches come we all become mad monsters. Hahaha Sensitive people, just like me, have a happy/sad life in a day.

4. We have secrets. Some we tell to our best friend, others we keep it to ourselves. Best friends are there to soak up some of our secrets but there are some things that we most likely want to keep to ourselves. It's either you're shy or you just want to give yourself some privacy. It's more like creating a mystery for everyone to think of but then, no one really cares so...

5. Alone at Friday/Saturday night doesn't always mean being lonely. Somepeople always think some people are boring and killjoy. Truth is, there are some people who don't need a wild night to be happy. Some just needs to be alone -- reading a book, learning a new recipe, watching television, listening to music, or blogging. :p

6. The smell of the rain makes us feel nostalgic about childhood. That moment when the rain starts to pour, you smell it and images run to your head. Images from childhood, or moments you had with someone you were with.

7. Singing makes us calm. I swear this is true! And if you haven't tried it, always remember that whenever your patience thermometer rises up, keep calm and sing a song! :P

8. We're not satisfied of some things in life. That is why we keep on striving even for some things that don't mean anything to us really. But I'm not saying it's bad. Go on, follow what you think/feel is right for you.

9. Something is the best word to say when you don't want to point out a particular thing that you don't like or you're not sure of.

10. We are all artists. Of course, we paint/draw/sculpt/carve/photograph/build our own lives! :)

*So random that I didn't think too much of what to write. Just like what Sarah Kay did in her speech over this video.

Someday I Will Tell My Kids How Adventurous My Life Is.

I am not planning to have kids in the near future. I can't picture it yet. I don't know if I could have one but just in case my future self could get married, which I don't think so as of the moment (haha), I would tell them how I lived my life. Like what my mama used to share with me when I go to bed.

(1) First and foremost, I did not experience having someone to read a fairytale or bedtime story for me before going to bed. Real-life stories were what I got. So, I don't really think about those cartoon most of the time though I used to watch TV most of the time.

(2) I go to school on my own starting grade 2. Though there were times when my cousin or someone from the family fetch me but most of the time I was on my own. So, I get to deal with a lot of how-to's back then. It thrilled me when I get to ride a cab on my own but I don't get why I am so bad with directions now. Hahaha

(3) I got to play with kites every summer! I was so good at it that I sometimes get a fight because I always lead my kite closer to other kites. So it was like wrestling of kites. But I tell you I didn't have enemies back then. Everyone were my friends just because I am a daughter of my Papa. You know what I mean. Hahahaha

(4) Every Sunday my group of friends and I walk from home to San Antonio church. I don't know the distance but we start walking from 2pm so we can attend the 3-pm mass for kids. Then, we walk again from the church back home. But of course, we eat something we bought from a convenience store near the church! Then play street games afterwards.

(5) The first time I got so hardcore at walking away from home was when we went to another village without passing through the highway! Yeahhh we were so cool that time that we passed houses just to go to the other village! When we got there, it was raining but we ate ice cream hahaha we climbed down going home entering the sea shore and even entered a private company from the back without getting caught! Yesss hahaha The scar I got from that time is still visible and I am so proud of it because I did not cry when I got it! Anything for adventure! Hahahaha

(6) We used to get shells in the shore of San Juan! We cook it and eat by the beach. So fun, so fun! Shettt sarap balikan yung mga times na yun.

(7) Played several spirit of the glass (and other things like coin, ballpen etc hahaha) at school during my elementary years. Even told my classmates that I saw ghosts in the playground one afternoon and they believed it! You know kids! Even I convinced myself that I saw ghosts! Hahaha

(8) I always cut classes in high school but still I get good grades. I wasn't part of the best students but I never failed to pass my requirements and exams! Being on the list was not really my goal ever since elementary. I was always up for something else not academics! But I admit I get sad when I get low score hahaha

(9) Always drunk at Saturday night since 4th yr high school and watched some bands play. But I was not a flirty type. More like, I just want to have fun on Saturday night with my friends and be with strangers who talk shit and make my girls believe they are so cool when they are not. I'm so proud of myself for being the "not girly" type of girl back in high school. I was like the "for the love of music, I want to drink beer." kind of girl.

(10) In first year college, I studied chemistry while drinking beer with my high school friends in my room. My family didn't know about it. Seriously, I read a book while I was drunk! I always smile when I remember it. PS. I didn't fail the quiz the next day. Shet hahaha

(11) Always went home at 3 in the morning just being outside the street. But when I entered second year college, everything changed. I am a responsible girl now. That means, I don't drink at bars instead I make events to go and drink and chill at my classmates' houses or even in my room.

(12) I spent a lot of overnights at Samal Island and/or Talikud island. I swear. I can't count how many times I got drunk outside the city with my friends! PS. You kids should drink with the people you know and knows you! Don't drink with people you want to flirt with because it's not good! For me, I am so lucky that my guy friends treat me as their sister and my girl friends are normal girls not girly girls so imagine how crazy and fun it is! Wholesome party is fun hahahaha im just sayin' ;p

(13) Spontaneous outings!!! I can't say anything. My life is so funnnnnnn hahahaha

Sure this list would be long if I give all the details but then again I'm just blogging this because I want to go to bed already. I want to get sleepy. hahaha I wanted to specify number 13 more but then again, I can't because all the events are just too awesome I can't put it into words.

PS. I love that my parents and siblings didn't put me in a box. I mean, I got my freedom since elementary. I can do whatever I want and that is why I am responsible for my actions now. Thank you very much to my parents and siblings because they raised me well! That means for all the bad and good vibes they gave me. I learned a lot and I'm still learning from them!

PPS. You may ask: how is that picture connected to this entry? See that cans and bottles with different sizes, colors and tastes? Yes, it symbolizes my life. Go translate it further for me.

I stumbled upon an article that teaches how to be laid back. At first I thought reading it would sound very desperate but I chose to read the article anyway. So here are the points that the author highlighted in his article:

1. Do one thing at a time. I love multitasking and I really think its the best thing I can do during school season but I admit things aren't that perfect at the end of each task. I wouldn't even feel satisfied but for the sake of finishing the task, I would rather assume I am satisfied than being troubled and stuck to another task. Here's a thought from the author: If something doesn't deserve your undivided attention, maybe it's not worth doing at all.

2. Slow down. When projects are due within a month, don't start doing it a week before the deadline because things get messed up along the way and you end up not finishing the project on time. Even if you think it is very easy to work on. Your teacher won't give you that big time allowance if it isn't hard to do. Of course you have to slow down a bit, think and rethink the things to do so you will not mess the whole thing because you were thinking too much. Don't just "get it over with" --Find a way to make every activity something that you look forward to doing.

3. Stop being a perfectionist. That doesn't mean we don't have to put standards at all things but we should be clever enough to know the things to prioritize. If you are working on a project, yes, being a perfectionist might be okay but if you are conscious about things like your appearance, your whatever that you want to look perfect, that's not being clever. You are just inviting anxiety to your life.

4. Step Aside. You don't have to do everything on your own. You cannot work on a project on your own. You need other people's help. But that doesn't mean you will give all the task to them. Its about knowing your responsibility and not carrying the world on your own.

5. Remember that it's not the end of the world. Stop making yourself perfect at everything. All of us make mistakes so you need not to worry too much if you messed up something. You will live an unhappy life if you always worry. As what the author said: Many people spend their entire lives trying to prevent bad things from happening. But guess what? They happen anyway. And life goes on. That's not to say you shouldn't take any kinds of precautions in life, but if the majority of your thoughts are consumed in contingency planning, you're not enjoying life. You're preventing it.

6. Focus on what you have, not what you have to do. Appreciate what you have, while you have it. :)

So guys, don't stress yourself too much! Have a worry-free and laid back life! Haha :)

Things I Love

1.) Falling asleep to the sound of the rain.

2.) Finding a story from a book/quote/an old or new song that describes your current situation.

3.) Seeing your favorite band live or any band singing your favorite song.

4.) Getting letters through e-mail or snail mail

5.) Getting birthday cards.

6.) An ice cold cup of water when you're thirsty.

7.) Coffee in the morning.

8.) Tea at night.

9.) Sleeping.

10.) Going to undeveloped beaches with friends, get high and forget the rest of the world.

11.) When strangers smile at you.

12.) When friends greet you at school or anywhere.

13.) When your crush smiles at you.

14.) Waking up in the wee hours of the morning.

15.) Being described by friends as something funny.

16.) Spontaneous adventures.

17.) Nature.

18.) Being with my sisters.

19.) Thinking about my parents and listening to their favorite music.

20.) Random chat with friends.