where is this sun you speak of?

There's so many uncertainties in my life right now and to be honest, I don't even know how I even have the courage to get up every day if not for having breakfast together with my husband before he goes to work. Work's been interesting but not as satisfactory as before. I keep thinking that I am not in the right environment anymore, but I don't even know what I want. So most of my day at work is just work. I guess that isn't too bad because I am able to separate work and life. I guess that's how it is when you're in mid-thirties? There is more to life than what you do for work. And as someone who definitely will work until retirement, I hope one day I get past right this... weird emotion towards work. So my mantra lately has been, do good work as always, but clock out after 6.  So apart from this facet of my life, there's the visa. French bureaucracy is real and painful. I am in my second renewal process and even so I still feel anxious that I may not ge...

  The anticipation was worth it. Every single day, I would ask my husband to check out the trees at the park when he goes back home from work. And finally yesterday, they are in full bloom. There was no one at the park, so we enjoyed these ourselves. I wondered, and asked my husband, "am I the only one who is looking forward to see them, anticipating the bloom each day? No one is here!" Or maybe it was a weekday anyway. I am sure this weekend will be packed to enjoy the full bloom, just like last year. We won't be here for that as we will be visiting my husband's family and spend Easter with them. I look forward to egg hunting and some balade digestif (if I am not mistaken). His family loves to walk a lot after a big lunch. It's enjoyable. It's been a while since I wrote here. The older I get, the more I don't have the time to really sit with my thoughts and pouring out everything into a while blank digital "paper". I am glad to have that tonight...

How can you reframe one of your biggest regrets in life? I stumbled into this question today and thought it would be interesting to write something about it. Honestly, I couldn't think of a specific thing that I would consider THE biggest regret. Is that a bad thing? I firmly believe that there was always a reason as to why I may have not taken a "big" step towards something. At least there is nothing that I can think of for now but maybe there'd be an idea that will popup in my head as I ponder this question for a few days - I know my brain will just randomly think of this question passively. I'd be back for another entry by then.  There's so many facets in life that I think if we categorize them, there's probably a thing or two that I have regretted not doing in the past but nothing that could negate the life at present anyway. But for the sake of writing in this journal and answering this question, the most recent thought I have was about music. When ...

Summer has been great so far although the heat wave two weeks ago was awful - it was only 4 days of staying more indoors than enjoying the sun. And while tomorrow may be another 30-something, I do enjoy the presence of more sun and daylight. So I am enjoying this season a bit more outdoors so I can hold on to something when Winter comes back in a few months. There's a lot of places I'd like to visit, but something in me (and my husband - probably because we did not plan a trip anyway) wants to stay in our home. Visiting Paris on weekends is enjoyable somehow. As they say, it's the perfect time to visit Paris because the Parisians are out - but I'm not sure about that. The last time, there were lots of tourists in the city and in the metro... I'm not complaining cos I still see myself as a tourist here too! So anyway, we visited the Conciergerie last weekend and spent sometime around the city after that. The visit was good; the country's history is really interes...

We went for a walk in the neighbourhood after lunch today. The flowers are blooming everywhere, it is so beautiful in Spring. During our walk, I told my husband that we go to Picard to get some frozen goods and he thought to get ice cream too. I am sure that we have ice cream in the fridge but my husband kept insisting that Picard's ice cream is still better. He is really craving for it! I don't remember how it tasted like to be honest but I trust his judgment when it comes to food. Unfortunately, the shop is closed (it's a public holiday - no one is working today - what were we thinking!) so we will go next time. Anyway, going back home, my husband took a small elderberry flower for me that I can put in my small vase. The house smells good, but he doesn't smell it.  I do not know where this blog entry is going... I just miss writing! It just feels much better to write whatever is in my mind. I've been consuming a lot of quick small content that in the end probably ...

  Dear FutureMe, Today, we a had a little to no sun. It's cold, I think it is under 0 degree celsius. The last time I checked, which was three hours ago, was that it was negative 3 degrees celsius. I am getting used to the cold now, I guess - I hope! I do miss the humid and hot Dubai or Davao weather. Soon, I will be visiting Dubai in a week so that's good.  Yanyan is a bit sick. His throat is itchy so I made him a cup of hot ginger with honey tea. He does not like it much. He is sitting next to me and just read the last sentence and read it out loud, "I don't like it much" with more attitude. What a drama king he is! How are you doing? I think this letter will be sent a year from now. I wonder where you are now. Are you in France? I wonder where you and Yanyan celebrated holidays? Philippines - if so, how was it? I hope it was lovely with the whole family! This morning, you read a note you have written eight years ago in 2016. You wrote that you are brave enough ...