where is this sun you speak of?

  Dear FutureMe, These are your current wishes in the future:  be able to feel great about leaving your current company by the end of this year so that you can go to France and be with Aurelien. Get married and hopefully settle there (aka get the Long Stay Visa).  be able to accept that you need a sabbatical break to do all this moving and marriage and settlement to a new country.  be able to learn French and get a work-from-home job in France.  be able to visit my family once a year in the Philippines. And maybe slowly find a plan on how to retire in the Philippines because you want to set up a business. be able to travel still (COVID really hindered all of us from travelling for more than a year now).  be able to live with intent all the time and move past the "go, go, go" routine you have formed when living in a big city. These are the things you wish... I hope that you are doing fine today as you are reading this. You are fine no matter what problem you...

Dear FutureMe, You've been wanting to get your own studio in Dubai but the fees are just too much for a space for yourself. It would have been better if you live with your family or Aurelien with you but no. Although you are worthy to have your own place however you always wanted to be wise about money to spend on the uncertainties in life so you opted in to find a flat to share with other people. Luckily, you managed to find one - a one bedroom-flat shared with a couple from Cebu: Marielle and Banban. They are very friendly people. And you feel so lucky to find this place and to live with them. It has been a month and two weeks here and it has been very nice. :) The bedroom is very big with wide windows too. You see a glimpse of sunrise, the soft sunlight in the morning towards noon, shaded at noon and early afternoon, and then the golden afternoon sun hits the adjacent mirrored building and reflects the light through the windows - it's very magical. I can say that it reminds ...

  Ninh Binh, 2019 Far from the city.  Sunshine slowly coming through.  A morning bike ride.

As the years pass by, our memories become as though they are golden as though they are a movie sometimes it retells all events at once but then also shows perfect stills of each wonderful moments capturing every breath every color every sound every movement every detail of how it smells like how it feels like how it seems like making the present seem as though you are there back in those fleeting moments. Such magic what a wonderful feeling.

The book I am reading at Starbucks at Borders, Mall of the Emirates Do you ever feel like sometimes you just let life pass by without having to put any meaning in it? I feel like I am stuck in a routine again that I could not do the things I am passionate about and the worst part is that I just let it happen. Routine is good only if the things you do, for the most part of your day, mean something for you. A lot of things are changing and so maybe, as someone who likes a structured day and has a sense of control in whatever I do, is adjusting along with it. I am learning to let go of control - it seems to be easier in the long run.  I try to put structure in my day with the emphasis to balance everything out but then some days are just too tiring that all I want to do is eat, watch a movie, and go to bed. To be honest, though, I am grateful that I can still relax after a busy day, but I also long for that day somewhere in the future when all of this will not matter any longer. For n...

Oatmeal with raisins and apple compote It has been a year of "staying in" due to the pandemic but really, as an introvert, it's nothing new. Although I must say, I do miss those intimate gatherings with close friends and family. And I do miss flying back home or anywhere else. Anyway, lately, life has been good. I have been battling with anxiety and whenever I do, I try to take deep breaths and stay still. I am trying to grow tomatoes indoors - my sister gave me two seedlings a month ago - and I am planning to buy more plants. Apparently, they help lessen your worries? I shall try. Lately, I have been so much into online shopping to the point where I try to do all my groceries in an app. It makes sense to purchase those heavy things online and do my fruits and veggies groceries at the actual store. I live five minutes further from where I lived before so that means it takes me fifteen minutes to walk from home to the grocery store. And it's summer, therefore, I don...

Sunny afternoon at Love Lake The superpower I would like to have is to be able to see my life story from the beginning up to current. Like in a movie where each action, spoken words, emotions not just mine but also those around me, waves of laughter, sad moments; when my orange kitten died under the bakery van parked outside our home and it was my cousin's van; whenever I pray the rosary when it rains because I want to see the sunshine again; the afternoon when I cried so much knowing that my mother has gone to the market and she has gone for too long; whenever she comes back home late from the market and the joy of seeing her back home; the days whenever I intently pick up the phone after the second time it has rung because it is the polite way to do it; those afternoons spent in my parents garden surrounded by all kinds of plants that I usually ready comics or story to because I believed they will be happy if I read them a story; those afternoons spent at sea with my family, frie...