To let go and to grow

The book I am reading at Starbucks at Borders, Mall of the Emirates

Do you ever feel like sometimes you just let life pass by without having to put any meaning in it? I feel like I am stuck in a routine again that I could not do the things I am passionate about and the worst part is that I just let it happen. Routine is good only if the things you do, for the most part of your day, mean something for you. A lot of things are changing and so maybe, as someone who likes a structured day and has a sense of control in whatever I do, is adjusting along with it. I am learning to let go of control - it seems to be easier in the long run. 

I try to put structure in my day with the emphasis to balance everything out but then some days are just too tiring that all I want to do is eat, watch a movie, and go to bed. To be honest, though, I am grateful that I can still relax after a busy day, but I also long for that day somewhere in the future when all of this will not matter any longer. For now, I have got to deal with it and find time to rest - in whatever form it will be. 

Lately, my mind has been telling me to enjoy every bit of such days because someday, when you look back, you will have something to be proud of - that you've done something great. I want to remember my high school student self when I have always wondered and always wished to reach college because I can do this, this, and that. Yes, I am sort of that kind of self, but then I do not know exactly what is out there. It's exciting in a way and scary at the same time. But then that's how you let yourself grow, right? We always grow every single day and I hope one day I will make it happen. To let go and to grow.