Writing down my current uncertainties

There's so many uncertainties in my life right now and to be honest, I don't even know how I even have the courage to get up every day if not for having breakfast together with my husband before he goes to work. Work's been interesting but not as satisfactory as before. I keep thinking that I am not in the right environment anymore, but I don't even know what I want. So most of my day at work is just work. I guess that isn't too bad because I am able to separate work and life. I guess that's how it is when you're in mid-thirties? There is more to life than what you do for work. And as someone who definitely will work until retirement, I hope one day I get past right this... weird emotion towards work. So my mantra lately has been, do good work as always, but clock out after 6. 

So apart from this facet of my life, there's the visa. French bureaucracy is real and painful. I am in my second renewal process and even so I still feel anxious that I may not get approved for whatever reason. It's a waiting game that I am not willing to play but I have to participate in. It's exhausting to wait for a decision for months! What's the worse thing that could happen? I don't even want to think about it. Although the thought of going back home sounds great!

And then there's the Middle East war that's causing everyone's lives go sideways, at least the majority of us. What's going on in this world? Can we go back to six years ago and live "normally"? It is financially worrisome.

In all these uncertainties in life, I guess we'll have to let it be. I am grateful to have family and a few real friends who inspires me get up every single day. We're all going through this together - in this very strange timeline. One day, when all these three points I listed here are done and a few more uncertainties that are yet to come and yet to overcome, there's going to be a lot of reason to celebrate life. We'll probably won't remember the majority of it anyway... I hope! So I'm just reminding myself not to worry too much about all of these - you'll find something that you'll actually enjoy based on where you are in life, the papers works are out of your control and there is always plan b, and lastly, be financially smart because some things are out of control at the moment. It will be fine.