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Magpupungko, Siargao, July 2019 |
I'm staring at this blank space trying to figure out what to write, or how to start writing about being 29. This is my last year of being in my 20s. It sure felt like I need to do certain things that I don't know about. As someone who writes lists every day, I wonder if there is a list of things to do before becoming 30.
I used to be so excited about becoming a year older. When I was in grade school, I remember that I would stay awake until the clock strikes 12 to see if any magic happens. I guess that's because I have watched too many Cartoon Network and Disney shows back then. There is usually none, but then looking back, in retrospect, things have changed the way they should be. When I was in high school, as a teenager, I always get excited about being a year older because that means I am closer to becoming a college student. Funny how I look back and divide my life into educational stages. College was more than half a decade ago and now I'm almost done with my 20s.
I remember the day before my birthdays, I don't usually plan anything big. Most of the time, ever since I moved away from home, it's almost always an intimate celebration with family and friends. Except when I'm back home in the Philippines, then there would always be a big party with everyone else (my brother's friends and clients, mostly) since I am sharing the same birthday with my brother -- and it is always fun! So, to end my last hours of being 28, I spent it with my sister and her husband talking about anything over a cup of chai and chips outside my building. And I loved it.
Of course, just like how it was back then, I stayed up until the clock strikes 12. But this time, I did not wait for any magic nor thought of lists to do (I did 23 things to do before 23, and stuff like that over the course of the decade). In the wee hours of the morning, I spent time looking back on how it was for me... what happened in my 20s... what did I achieve... what did I create... what mistakes and learnings that have moulded me to who I am now... I sure am a bit freaking out about moving away from this precious decade... And there sure were a lot of happy and sad memories to look back too and I found myself smiling because I felt contentment and that those years felt right (even with the sad ones).
I am still reflective of how it was when I first started this decade. And I am also aware of how much there is to learn and I'm excited about how it will be!
And also, I'm the adult now. I'm taking this year slow but making sure to wrap it up as nicely and simply as how this precious decade started. Bring it on, life! I'm ready.
PS. I do not usually buy myself a gift for my birthday but I spent a few hours at a cafe-slash-bookshop to end my birthday and while walking through each aisle, I stopped and stood way longer than I usually do at the poetry section. I found the book that I have always been wanting to buy (this was back in the early 2010s) - it was I Wrote This For You by Iain Thomas. I sat on the floor and read a few poems and stared at the photographs. I bought it to remind me to be reflective and to write more. And also, what a great way to wrap this year with one of the things that somehow affected my early 20s.
Thank you, Iain, for publishing this book. And thank you for your words, each of your poems felt like it was written personally for me. Thank you, and I'm glad I found your book.
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