Erase the noise

Lately, my headspace has been quite a ball of dust. In the last few days, I have always reminded myself to have a full me-time, step back and reflect. Sometimes communication from people may make or break you and lately, I've been fed words that I am not quite sure how to grasp. For the most part, though, they make me doubt myself and it triggers my anxiety because of overthinking.

Therefore, lately, I have been diverting myself from things that somehow helped me take a step back. I am grateful for these things.

• Mandala coloring - it helps me reflect and meditate along with a song that plays in the background while I am coloring the book - very relaxing. On this particular day on 9th February, I lit my Lavender scented candle to add a more relaxing feel. I came across this comment from Youtube and I love it so much that I decided to write it on the page. Along with the words that were inside my head while I was coloring the mandala.

"Tensions, fears, procrastination, lies, depression, anxiety, self-doubt... it can be changed over time, do what your heart tells you to do, be a better person, enjoy life, improve yourself every day, be yourself, don't be ashamed of who you are."

• TransformAsian - Virtual Conference (Career Panel) - Eileen has shared this with me and I am so thankful for it. So much is covered in the Career Panel that resonates with me so much. 

"...I realized that the idea of qualifiers as an identity is more detrimental than helpful. It's great to have goals. It's great to achieve but just achieving the goals does not make you who you are..."

• Family - forever grateful for each of my family and extended family. A few days ago, my Balikbayan box reached home and it was so nice to see my family open it and see how happy they are with my sweet nothings (mostly, chocolates lol). 

• Work from home setup - we have been extended to work from home for the month of February. Working from home for almost a year now has been great and I am pretty sad that we're going back to work. Oh well, I guess it's good in a way because that means we are back to normal - somehow. I mean... I am not sure about this but I am just hoping for the best.

• Green tea and me-time - lately, I practiced to log off at exactly (or around) six o'clock. And change my mind to prepare for me-time which had been mostly about listening to my favorite music, watching Youtube, taking a walk outside, or reading a book, and my green tea. It's very calming really.

• COVID experience - I got COVID a few weeks ago and was isolated for two weeks. It was confusing to be honest because I got the message early morning and I did not have any symptoms at all. I am alright now. And grateful that I did not experience any bad symptoms at all. Grateful for my loved ones who always made sure I am doing okay and checking in.

• Miku and Nami - I am so into watching Miku and Nami on Youtube. Their videos remind me to take my time slowly and do things intently in my day-to-day life. I was watching them during my isolation period and really their videos had sort of accompanied me in those days. 

• BomberFriends with Yanyan - Grateful for this little game app that makes me and Yanyan play against each other on Bomberman. It's a funny game and since both of us are so competitive with each other, it really has been cutting the gap of us being away from each other.

• The sorrow of War book - This book has been a slow read for me because it's a sad book about a real-life story of a soldier during the Vietnam War. I bought it a few years ago while backpacking in Saigon with Eileen. That trip was nice and sad especially the day we visited the museum - the only museum that really made me almost about to cry... it's such a sad reality. I hope the nations would prevent such catastrophes in the future as it does not really do any good.