October 18, 2020

On re-focusing and watching animes

Mandala for October 17

In the last couple of days, I have been focusing my energy on negativity. I can not even get out of it. I was so drained that I spend my weekends mostly taking afternoon naps - it was heavenly. Sometimes I think that certain things - bad things - happen just so you feel the feeling of being all right. Funny how sometimes I try to ignore certain things but those things always find their way to overpower you. And when it does, it just envelopes you into the darkness very tightly. Why did I even let myself into this finite loop again? 

Reminder to myself: you can not change how the people are. It's how they are and no matter how negative they are and the more you try to bring sunshine to them and if they can't see that at all, you are just wasting your time, attention, and energy. So it's better to keep off these kinds of things and let them figure out themselves to be better. It's not your problem. Life is too short focusing on people who bring out the bad in you no matter how it feels good to help. Take care of your emotions, Debie. Some people live to make other people feel bad and they take pride when they win over you. 

Moving on... I have spent some days watching Japanese Anime (aka Studio Ghibli): Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Poppy Hill, Castle in the Sky, The Secret World of Arietty, Totoro, and Whisper of the Heart. There is something about animes that is just so comforting. A part of my childhood is watching animes on TV and that is probably why I take joy in watching them now as an adult. Last night, I watched Whisper of the Heart with Aurelien. It's the second time I watched this anime. The first time was in high school and even though I could not remember what it was about, I remember loving it so much that I cried, I remember crying to this anime the first time I watched it. The song "Country Roads" is lovely, for some reason, it reminds me of my parents and their garden. So, I rewatched it last night with Aurelien. And it feels great to bring him into a piece from my childhood. 

I have been watching so many Japanese animes that I am hoping to visit Tokyo one day when travel is back to normal once again. That is it for now, except that I have laundry to attend to. Happy Sunday, internet. I hope all is well. 😄

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