The Saturday Currently Vol. 16: Orange Sweater and Comfy Socks

"It's been a while" is probably something I start this blog for the last... 8 years?

I haven't really had the time to sit down and write something on a paper, except endless to-do lists in both life and work. Life had been so fast-paced lately with so many things to accomplish every single day. From seven in the morning, you hurry to prepare for (remote) work, juggle so many tasks, and then (hurry) to bed around eleven because you have another "early day" at work. The funny thing is that your brain thinks there is an end to this, but in reality, you are stuck in a routine that is so addicting because it is so easy to do the same thing over and over again that taking a pause feels like another task - a mindless task - and due to the fact, it does not seem so appealing to do it because it does not give a sense of "fulfilment" in your "busy day".

I am glad that I am able to really sit down and write. It's been a while since I really wanted to do this but every time I think about sitting still and writing my thoughts onto this white canvas, my mind says "oh that's boring, why don't we check 10-second videos and see lots of content in 15 minutes - that seems more productive!" Sometimes I feel like I am stuck in a world where there are so much information to gain in a minute. I wonder if anyone out there is wishing to go back in time where the only time we can be online is when we are in front of a desktop computer? 

Obviously, the only thing we could do is recall those lovely years with less "noisy" information and be grateful to have lived through it and enjoyed it while it lasted. Anyway, there is good on the technology we have now. I guess I just found myself stuck in this information-overload place and I need to get out as quickly as possible because it makes living life a bit too shallow. I am not angry about the technology, rather I find it unbelievable that I found myself spending "a few times" checking on my phone during weekends because I wanted to post "stories" (that disappears after 24 hours)! How was I able to do that? The internet is such a weird place when I first started using it, but not it just gets weirder.

I guess what I am trying to say is, I will try to regain the interest in writing again as a form of self expression and reflection rather than posting a temporary "media" that will be gone and forgotten (by me!) after a day. After all, this blog exists since more than 18 years because I want to be able to read and remember the fleeting moments in my life that I am able to write now and read through these pages when I am older. That's the main reason why I am keeping this. I want to keep writing. I will try to go back. I will try to write again. To write something with substance - a reflection of my days, weeks, months. I am blabbering, but this is good too. I will be back soon. Hopefully! 

The Sunday Currently Vol. 15: Living in France

It's been four months since I packed everything in UAE and moved to France. I would not really say it is completely perfect - I miss my family back in UAE and I am farther from home now - but I am happier that I am living my day to day with my husband. 

Despite the difficulties in paper works to be integrated here, I enjoy the fresher air and calm environment. I had the opportunity to continue working for the same company remotely although I do not know until when can this setup will be. I guess when that time comes, I may probably have to search for a remote work setup as I am not comfortable enough to commute into Paris. I've been accustomed now to working from home and I see myself doing the same until I can't anymore. 

Anyway, about routines... my husband and I have pretty much the same day to day. Wake up around 8 am (7:50 am radio alarm), shower, quick breakfast. My husband leaves around 8:40 am to work which starts 9-5pm. I have an extra 1 hour as I need to clock out at 6 pm. Then after this, we either rest for an hour (usually watch tv or internet browsing) or we go to grocery shopping. Dinner prep usually starts around 7 pm. We enjoy cooking so much that we both have "plans" or "ideas" prepared for the weekday! We try our best to make our own recipes - or at least make our own twist with it - example is that he would add curry powder into everything!

Around 9 pm, usually is spent for me to learn at least 1 page (usually a page because I easily get overwhelmed haha!) of my French language book. While my husband would either watch tv, or browse the internet or play games. 10 pm is tea time! We like to end the day with a cup of tea and lately accompanied with a chocolate date. Although he recently bought Kinder Maxi that we change it with that sometimes - depending on the mood. 11 pm is usually the time we go to bed and call it a day. 

Fridays are different because it's our "Aperitif day!" where we prepare a little aperitif while watching a movie (or tv or anything!). This is exciting for us because it's our way to welcome the weekend which we do with a glass of wine and beer (for him), cheese(s), saucissons, chips(!!), cherry tomatoes, and biscuits. 

Saturdays and Sundays are usually free days unless something is planned (which rarely happens because we're both lazy to go out lol). If it is sunny on Saturday, we try to go and visit Paris. Otherwise, we squeeze in going to the park while it's sunny outside. If it's raining, we just stay at home.

Yesterday was a sunny day throughout so that was very nice. We went to Paris and walked around the 2nd arrondissement. I like walking around Paris - it's always so charming wherever you look. However, I still couldn't fathom how noisy the restaurants get during lunch time. I don't know why but as much as I like watching the people in terraces of restaurants on photos and videos, but when you are there, I couldn't even imagine being seated an inch away from another stranger with smoke and noise everywhere. I guess it's something I need to try in the future days - should I dare to! 

We went to a library and it was amazing. When entering, you'll be surrounded by books from all floors. I think there were four floors but you can only visit the ground floor, I think! In the centre is where you can sit and study. I told my husband that I loved it there so much that if I were studying in Paris, I would be in the library frequently. After a quick visit in the library, we went out to look for food. We ended up going back to a passage in the same arrondissement and chose a Japanese restaurant. It was almost empty inside because it was past 3 pm so that was nice. We had poulet (and beef) ramen with poulet gyoza. The food was good even though it was served (and owned) by Chinese. My husband told me that he saw the chef and thinks he is from North Africa! So while it was very good, we couldn't be sure that it was the same as the authentic Japanese ramen. Someday, I hope, we will find our way in Japan.

Going back home before the sunset was the plan because we wanted to go through the park. It's nice to walk in the park (actually everywhere!) because nature is slowly waking up from the cold winter. I see a lot of sakura trees are blooming already and they look so beautiful. Seeing the greenery and flowers around makes me happy. I can't wait to see them in full bloom in the coming weeks!

Anyway, I guess that's it for now. I just want to drop by in my little nook and write about what life has been. A few weeks left of Winter - I am happy to sort of endured the cold! Looking forward to more sunny days!

A letter from February 12th, 2021

Dear FutureMe,

For the past weeks (or should I say months, to be honest...), all you had to think about is to take a break. Really, a good reset. At least a whole month of reset from working. And then get back up and find new opportunities.

You are waiting for the perfect timing to be together with your fiance - and that means to be married and enjoy life together. Even though there is no definite time when that will be because of the COVID situation, the thought of finally being together, after 10 years of knowing each other, really excites the both of you.

Anyway, at this point in time of writing, you are dealing with so much push and pull right now. You are super stressed out but I am proud of you because are slowly knowing your worth. You feel stuck at where you are in your career and therefore you are so eager to take a break. It's more difficult when no one taps on you to say you are doing okay. But you are doing fine. I am proud of you. Even if you don't see anything that you can be proud of... it's difficult to see that especially when you're in a black hole. Anyway, I hope this time when you receive this letter, this memory from the past is already insignificant. I hope that you are able to find peace, at least from here.

I hope that you are doing well. And I hope that the world has moved on from the COVID disaster... and most of all, I hope that you and Aurelien are living life together as happy couples. :)

Don't forget to take small breaks from time to time. And take care of your self and your mental space.

Love, Debie

Cold December Mornings

Cold mornings

under the blanket

next to you.

It's silent;

your breath is all I 

hear. Comfort.

We have a

few minutes to stay

still. Calming.

Waiting for

the radio alarm

to turn on.

It plays a

music I've never

heard before.

The kind of

music they used to

play back then.

It's calming,

comforting, to be

next to you.

Cold mornings

every single day

for winter.

With you, life

is never easy, 

I know it.

My life is

meaningful when I'm 

with you.