where is this sun you speak of?

A desert flower, 2020 I woke up a bit later than usual today and it was nice because it was one of those days when I just know that I have nothing else to do. So far, I cleaned up my things because that's my way of re-organizing my mind especially after a full week at work. I get satisfaction in doing that and it somehow is the time for me to reflect on anything that crosses my mind.  Today I decided to cook whatever I have left in the pantry. I ended up tossing cabbage, spinach, cherry tomatoes, garlic, and a bit of dried basil into the pan with butter. Fried a sunny-side-up egg as well. It was very delicious. I still have a little bit of penne tomato pasta left for dinner so I guess I am all set for today. Except that I ordered 3 donuts from dunkin' today just because it's that time of the month. I wonder if other women would order sweets when this time comes just to give in to their cravings? I don't always treat myself to fancy sweets so some months I really give in...

Cu Chi, Vietnam I wander through the woods to find familiarity of the home, I once knew. I travel to different countries to find solace within me. I walk to paths I have never been to see something new. I stay in the desert and keep waiting for the rain.

I am winding down today with a cup of Lemon and Lime Twist tea. Honestly, I did not do much today and it's okay because it's the weekend. I was mostly in bed tinkering on my phone and watching movies: Old Guard and Earwig and the Witch. I told Eileen that I had random videos on Youtube for breakfast, Old Guard for lunch, and Earwig and the Witch (a Ghibli film) for afternoon snacks. It felt just right. There are days like this - and I am okay with it. 😁 To practice mindfulness today, I did it through scrapbooking. It's one of my favorite activities because I get to see things from my travels, photos, some little things that remind me of certain memories, and put them all onto my scrapbook. I love remembering those memories... they always feel golden for some reason. I still got lots of items to work on for my future scrapbooking activity aka days when I need to restructure my messy brain.  And to add to the slow day that I have, I did some self-care stuff such as putting o...

Lately, my headspace has been quite a ball of dust. In the last few days, I have always reminded myself to have a full me-time, step back and reflect. Sometimes communication from people may make or break you and lately, I've been fed words that I am not quite sure how to grasp. For the most part, though, they make me doubt myself and it triggers my anxiety because of overthinking. Therefore, lately, I have been diverting myself from things that somehow helped me take a step back. I am grateful for these things. Mandala coloring - it helps me reflect and meditate along with a song that plays in the background while I am coloring the book - very relaxing. On this particular day on 9th February, I lit my Lavender scented candle to add a more relaxing feel. I came across this comment from Youtube and I love it so much that I decided to write it on the page. Along with the words that were inside my head while I was coloring the mandala. "Tensions, fears, procrastination, lies, dep...

So I finished my isolation a few days ago and that made me happy. Although I may be an introvert, I missed being outside so much that I spent my afternoon yesterday outside away from people, mostly, just to change my environment. Yesterday was also when I heard the songs from Flowers for Vases album by Hayley Williams. She is just so talented and such a poet. Somehow the music, the lyrics, and the emotions around each song are just so beautiful. And even though most of them are sad songs, somehow I love listening to them. I love how personal these songs are and grateful that she is sharing these songs with everyone. Somehow that makes me feel held especially when I feel disappointed - or just plain sad - with some areas of my own life. We all have that, right? It's very important to focus on the positive sides but somehow it makes me feel human to recognize these gray areas of my life and just feel it. Somehow I learn something from it and sometimes I think of things on how to make...