where is this sun you speak of?

I saw Mama's collection of coins while cleaning up my room. So I decided to clean them by soaking them into a basin with vinegar and water (as what the internet told me to do so). Dried them up and then checked one by one. Most coins are old Philippine coins, and then some from foreign countries like Korea, United States, Australia, Japan, and France.  Was not expecting to find a coin from France. This isn't a Euro coin. It's from 1950's. I wonder where and how Mama got this. A pile of old Philippine coins.  This is my favorite coin as a kid. :p Fifty Centavos coin (1964) One Peso coin (1993) Two Pesos coin (1994) My sister's tokens. I actually took photos of each kind of coins but I'm just too lazy to post everything here. I wonder when will they change Philippine coins again. It would be exciting.

The future is definitely uncertain. I don't know what is going to happen. I don't even have any idea or any traces of clues where I'm going to be in the next five years. So please don't ask me something like where do I want to work when I finish school because I definitely have no idea and can't find a proper way to say it so I won't sound so sad and angry. I'm not even sure when will I finish college, damn it. But despite all these uncertainties, I have plans for my future. And that is to offer myself something happy . Could be this . Could be that . Still, it isn't certain enough. Hahaha :)

My sister Rachel and her husband Kuya Mel sent us their old stuff from Dubai. Very sophisticated curtains and other stuff. I personally loved all the curtains. There were three kinds: orange, dark orange and some beaded orange curtains. I wanted to set up the beaded ones for Summer but it requires me to set-up its own hang bar (whatever you call it). I don't want to mess up the walls by drilling it all by myself so I have to wait for my brother to do it. For now, these orange curtains will be up for the whole Summer and maybe beyond that. Thanks to Ate Rachel and Kuya Mel! :)

When I was young, nobody told me that life would be a little too harsh in the future. Either way, I will still be the same lazy ass, non-smart, non-wise being because back when I was little, I know I have my father, mother and siblings to protect me and care for me. I was young, I didn't care about what my future will be like. Things got serious when I lost my parents, everyone had to work on their own to survive. And they included me in their plans and stuff so I still feel safe. Now, I'm 21 and turning one year older in a couple of months. I don't know what to do now because all my dreams seem to be so far away. I don't mean to be so dramatic. I want to work but I need to finish college first so I'd end up to a high-paying job. I need to work hard on my college though as I'm not doing really well. Projects here and there. But I know I can do this. I have faith. Life at this moment? It's difficult. But knowing that I still have faith never worries me a...

Spent some time on Omegle a few days ago. I was there to ask: If you're not happy with your friends, what's best to do? And here are the first five answers (and conversations) I got from two strangers at a time. 1.) Sleep -- I do this most of the time. Mostly when I feel sad at things not just with people but events and other factors. It sure does make me feel okay but I know it's still there. 2.) Get new friends -- Not easy. But I guess I need to try. 3.) Murder -- Hahaha okay. 4.) Talk to them about why -- Not good with this though I often ask if I did something wrong and they tell me nothing. 5.) Travel -- My favorite answer. Yes, of course. I need to travel alone or with family or with new people. Here are the conversations from two strangers: Conversation 1: Stranger 1: ni hao ma Stranger 2: kill them ! Stranger 2: KILL THEM ALL !! Stranger 2: THEY DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE ! Stranger 1: lol Stranger 2: kill them with an axe Stranger 1: b...

I am not the kind who believes in horoscopes. I wrote something about my zodiac sign because it is part of a 'blog challenge' and one of the things that's written there is -- Strength: Perfectionist. And I agree to that. Back in since high school, when we subscribed to a local newspaper, everyday I read what's written in the horoscope (because as a youngster, that's what all there is to read in that paper full of bad news). It always speaks about Virgo people being perfectionists. Always. So, it is stuck in my head that I am a perfectionist. Later on, I realized that all of us are perfectionists. Maybe not all the time but we are perfectionists. We want things to be perfect especially those things that are very important to us like first date, school projects, exams, debut party, wedding, cakes, etc. So, I've been thinking does being a perfectionist good? I mean, could you enjoy life even more when everything you do is perfect? Of course. Life is even mor...

Engineering & Architecture Exhibit at Abreeza Mall. That's me with the eye glasses and my Computer Engineering professors and classmates. 

I am inferior in some aspects in life and I am pretty sure about that. Just this afternoon before I decided to take a nap, I realized some people need me because they need to think highly of themselves. You can't escape this situation, someday you'll be in it and you just can't find a peaceful way to let go. Being humble and patient does not do you any harm. So be it. Just let them lead the way. There's something to learn in this. I still can't figure out what it is. Maybe soon.

As someone who is lonely as I am, I desperately want to have a friend like Ronny of The Dilemma. Nick and Ronny's friendship is very tight and not that grand. I mean, they're both simple and true and honest and real. I wish I could be with someone who really cares and listens. Someone who is not afraid to punch and slap me in the face when everything feels wrong. And just like Nick, I am very worse at handling situations/problems in life. I suck plus I don't have someone to tell me that. Maybe that is why I suck even more. Hahahaha You know in life, you can't just ask yourself "What's wrong?" and "Are you okay?" because that would be pointless. We all need someone to ask that for us because even though they won't really understand everything at least you could hear somebody else's uplifting words and that is a blessing and it feels real good to know someone is listening to you. It's heartbreaking to know someone really cares and hum...

I don't know what is right anymore. Can people just be happy for me even if I fucked everything up? Can they just make me feel that everything's going to be alright? I don't know how to bring myself back because I can't even seek happiness from where I am. :(

My nephew is the cutest :) Let me share these photos taken yesterday at Abreeza Mall. I was there for the CEA Exhibit 2012. I escaped to play with this little boy for a couple of minutes only.  Hahaha so cute!! :P

I didn't upload any photos for my entries recently because (A) I don't have an appropriate photo to show since (recently) I've been ranting a lot (which I promised not to do since last year but right now I don't have anyone to talk to. Writing helps when no one cares to listen to you.) and (B) I'm just too lazy to transfer files/photos I've taken recently. So to turn things up a little bit, I am going to show the highlight of my saddest month ever. I put some bird feeds on my window hoping some birds will come in and chill in my room. That idea was kind of funny and it is my desperate way of getting close to nature. I mean, I miss going to the beach -- the serenity, calmness and silence of nature. Lately, I've been chasing papers and projects and shit (not literally, duh).  That afternoon, I guess the birds didn't saw (or smell?) the feeds. Three days passed, still, the feeds were untouched until one afternoon, around 5 PM, while I was mak...

How do you deal with difficult people? Edit: (9PM) I hate Facebook. I am finally deactivating my account. The reason why I hate it is I spent the whole day browsing around and ended up not being able to do what I need to do. It's like my eyes were glued and I can't afford to close the freaking page! The only reason why I go to Facebook is to ask my classmates about some school stuff that I may have forgotten and stuff like that. I even use Message to transfer research files which is supposed to be done in formal e-mail. It is basically an all-in-one package and it should be very convenient for me because I could talk to my classmates instantly but no. Yes, it is awesome because I could chat and send files and shit all at the same time but I always end up reading the News Feed. It is not that I don't like what I read there, it is just that Facebook is fucking taking my time so much. I don't know if I should hate on it or I should hate myself. Blah, blah, blah. Wha...

It's early in the morning and I already feel tired. Or maybe I'm just too sad. Maybe being sad just feels very tiring. Maybe being tired just feels very sad. That very last part of last night, which when I was already in bed (and you know when you're already in bed, random thoughts appear and it's uneasy to sleep), was not happy. I cried. I was crying because of the thought: I may not bound to have a long-term friendship. One day, I might lose some people who are very close to me. It is always like this. My close friends in grade school were never my close friends in high school. My close friends in high school, were never my close friends in college. Maybe one day I might lose all my close friends in college. I can feel it. Am I a difficult person to deal with? I don't know. All I know is that when I miss something important, I always make sure I could catch up with it. And I say sorry when I know I made something wrong. I tell whatever is on my mind. I am op...

So before I'm going to bed (for the nth time this day), I would like to share something that isn't really interesting at all. Today turned out to be the opposite of what I thought was a productive day. I woke up feeling groggy because I overslept, which was a good thing because I haven't had enough sleep nights ago and yesterday was just too stressful. I had my to-do list ready and in my head I had the urge to do everything. Turned out to being a lazy ass bitch trying to feel a little sick (I was, I swear) just so I would not be obliged to move any muscle. I did try to put everything back to normal but I think this day is meant to be spent in my bedroom. So, I stayed and never thought of my responsibilities. And whenever I feel 'free' from responsibilities, I think about something else aside from school stuff. Unfortunately, I got pissed off by someone and for a minute there I did not know how to handle my anger towards that person. So, I asked the internet on ...

One of the best things in the world is to have boy friends who share anything with you. Anything random -- love life, opinion, some serious stuff, problems, and anything that seems to be mysterious in a guy. I am surrounded by a lot of boys (and I don't mean to sound like a flirt, I'm sorry) and it's always been my pleasure to know them and their life stories (and keep their secrets and thoughts on things until I get a sign from them that it's okay to say it in public). You know, whenever I am sad, aside from thinking about my family (as a thing to hold on to when everything else falls down), I think about my boy friends and how lucky I am to have been surrounded by good ones. Isn't it lovely (and exciting) to hear them say whatever they are thinking, or what happened during the weekend, or how they feel as of the moment, or how they had a fight with their partners, or their family problems, or anything like that that you can't seem to hear from a normal guy. ...